I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
