remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
sex in a hospital.. check
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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