if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i now understand why vodka
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
