you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
