Small penises have feelings too.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize