i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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