There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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