Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
