just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Text me some of your sweat
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Will exercising make me less horny?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
