Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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