Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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