i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
