im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
