that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
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