My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize