Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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