Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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