i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize