I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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