After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Randomize
