How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
