I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
