WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
