He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
