I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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