the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
what is it with giant penises always finding me
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
