ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Ketchup is God's man juice
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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