Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.