True but thats because hes a fetus.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.