Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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