You're so nebulous sometimes
You work out of a Hotel?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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