Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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