Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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