Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
