look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
