Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
