he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize