i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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