The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
