If i come over, it means nothing
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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