WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
