forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
