yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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