Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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