A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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