The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
