For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
