Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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