You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
