Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Randomize
