the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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