I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Who died my cat blue again?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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