Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
