what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
