I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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