O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
