Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
