Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
