if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
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what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
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Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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