hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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