The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
