The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
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