My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
