I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I am available for nakedness
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
